It’s Time to Unmask
Have you ever felt that you’ve lived a lie your whole life? Not because you’re a pathological liar but because you’re a people pleaser. Consider how it would feel to stop speaking or acting in accordance with what other people expect of you. Or going one step further, according to what you think others want or need from you.
If you live your life to please others, ask yourself whether you’re living truthfully. Often, the desire to be liked or loved propels us to hide our authentic selves. The fear that we will be rejected or found wanting deters us from voicing our actual thoughts and acting in our best interest. Along the same lines, our instinct to avoid conflict acts similarly, protecting us from potentially stressful situations by driving us to present an agreeable front no matter the personal cost.
Does this sound familiar to you? If so, perhaps you’re like me. Or at least the me that I presented to the world before the real me slowly emerged from the mask behind which I’d been hiding. For a large portion of my life, I suffered from anxiety. I was a worrier. Worry and fear are akin to one another and typically reflect our insecurities. What’s more, the need to please resides in our psyche and doesn’t always reflect reality or the actual expectations of other people.
My anxiety did not discriminate either. I AIMED TO PLEASE, whether I was dealing with family, friends, or colleagues. Even when I felt miserable or uncomfortable, I played my part to perfection. The roots of my anxiety branched in many directions and threatened to suffocate until I could no longer function effectively. That’s when I knew that I needed to make a change. I could no longer operate under the fear that I would alienate people if I didn’t serve their needs. Even if it meant rocking the boat and making waves, I realized that I had to finally advocate for myself so that the real me could finally show up and start living without restraint.
When you’re living authentically, it shows. In your smile. Because it’s REAL.
Anxiety is exhausting. But the way to manage it isn’t to suppress your instincts. Free yourself from fear by letting your inner self breathe. Listen to your voice first. This is not to say that you shouldn’t accommodate others or extend yourself for people you love and revere. Just don’t do so at your own expense and lose yourself. Respect yourself by making your needs a priority. In doing so, you will create space to function more effectively and honestly with others.
In sum, contemplate this question. If you’re not living your life according to your truths, whose life are you living?
