Kindness Unbound
Kindness doesn’t always beget kindness. You may find yourself extending empathy and compassion to someone only to find that they don’t appreciate your efforts. Many of us have experienced this, leaving us wondering how to respond.
It’s tempting to give up and refuse to help others again after feeling hurt by unappreciated efforts. However, this reaction often stems from both legitimate hurt and misplaced expectations. When expectation accompanies an act of goodwill, the arrow of disappointment can pierce our spirits. Only by giving without consideration of the outcome, whether it’s recognition or receptiveness from the recipient, can we walk away fulfilled.
Relinquishing expectations isn’t easy—it goes against human nature. But it’s a skill that requires self-awareness. Often, we attach ourselves to outcomes because we lack a strong sense of self. With a solid inner core, we can remain secure. When we tie our actions to expectations, our ego comes into play, leading to disappointment and blinding us to the bigger picture.
Consider the last time you showed kindness. Did you expect acknowledgment, even subconsciously? If not, you might not even remember the interaction, having learned to sprinkle kindness wherever you go and live life unburdened by expectations. Detaching yourself from outcomes is incredibly freeing.
Motherhood exemplifies this concept for me. I shower my children with love and compassion, regardless of acknowledgment. While I undoubtedly cherish their affection, it doesn’t influence my actions. I’ll treat them lovingly even if they never demonstrate love or appreciation. That’s the power of unconditional love.
When interacting with those outside our inner circle, it’s crucial to maintain our natural decency as human beings. Negative experiences shouldn’t color how we view humanity or treat one another. My suggestion? Carry on and set an example. By spreading joy and benevolence, we counter any gloom threatening to cast a shadow.
Consider viewing everything in life as a gift rather than a transaction. Love is far more infectious than negativity. Deflect the arrows of disappointment by living lightly and loving abundantly.
