Silencing Karen: The Dangerous Cost of a Viral Label
Many of you probably know that the name “Karen” has now become a term synonymous with entitled, demanding middle-aged white women. You likely learned of it through social media or from your children, especially as it took root during the pandemic when everything went “viral” both literally and figuratively.
But why has the “Karen” phenomenon taken our society by storm? The use of the name in a derogatory way began when predominantly older white women (often named Karen) were caught either calling law enforcement for racially-motivated reasons, complaining rudely about poor service, or demanding to have their way, much like toddlers.
What started as a way to expose racial biases has now morphed into a broader label that risks silencing legitimate female voices. If the motivation behind publicly airing such videos on social media was to call attention to unacceptable behavior from bigoted, arrogant women touting their “white” race and privilege, then I understand the desire to put them on blast. When society ignores bullying and intimidation of any kind, it is complicit in the propagation of hateful conduct.
However, I’m starting to worry about the negative repercussions of liberally labeling a woman “a Karen” whenever she appears angry. I’ve noticed that the term no longer simply applies to racist Caucasian women of a certain age and status but has disturbingly extended to any middle- and upper-class woman who voices disagreement or dissatisfaction.
Imagine my amazement when my older son drawled, “Why do you have to be such a Karen?” after overhearing me express frustration to the staff at his apartment complex for letting him move into an unclean apartment overrun with cockroaches and spiders! I realized afterward that he wasn’t used to me being assertive or confidently using my voice in public. Because I’d been a people-pleaser for so long and held my silence, my family didn’t recognize the “me” that’s evolved.
Because of all the Karen memes on the internet, my son mistakenly assumed that my speaking up to get a problem resolved automatically lumped me into the same category, based on our lifestyle and privilege. Understanding the source of his misconception, I decided to talk to him so that he could learn to make the distinction. A woman speaking up for herself isn’t the same as a woman steeped in bias and ignorance who plays the victim.
While it’s important to hold individuals accountable for bigoted behavior, we must also be cautious not to paint all assertive women with the same broad brush. Though I applaud any effort to combat racial injustice and narrow-mindedness, I cannot condone methods that endanger women’s hard-earned rights to express themselves without fear. Public shaming is a harsh way to educate anyone; it’s also a form of bullying in itself.
If we’re not careful, this label could become a weapon to undermine women’s confidence, making them second-guess their right to speak up, whether they are addressing injustice or simply advocating for themselves. Women as a whole will suffer once again if any group of us is silenced and labeled.
So, before this naming trend does irreparable damage, let’s ensure that we don’t undermine the very rights we’ve fought so hard to attain. What do you say we give the name Karen back to its rightful owners and protect the space for all women to speak out—confidently and without fear of unjust labels?
